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| misty morning. Cool, California |
I'm pretty sure I am the worst blogger ever. I think about this site almost daily. I think about the stuff I should be writing, and the ideas, and goals I have. But it is so tough for me to actually start writing sometimes, because I don't take myself seriously as a writer. I started this blog not because I have always wanted to be a journalist, author, or poet. I started this site because I have always loved creating in some way.
Actually, I have never taken myself serious in any of my creative outlets. I play music, but I'm not a musician. I paint, draw, take pictures, create blogs. I can build things out of wood, everything I do is through some creative lens, but still, I'm not an artist or a photographer. Not in the professional sense. I know artists, I know authors, musicians and photographers. I see their talents and I struggle to compare my own to theirs. This mentality can be crippling. It prevents me from striving to get better, because I have already accepted that I am inferior. It is hard for me to sit down and write anything of depth or meaning, because I read amazingly well thought out articles, tweets, blogs, updates on a daily basis, by real people that are professional writers, and I know I can't provoke those emotions from people by my writing because I don't have the skills, the training, the degree, the whatever that those writers who can take themselves seriously possess. I don't have an audience expecting anything. No one asked me or told me I needed to start this blog. I did it hoping to have a creative outlet for talking about and showing pictures of my adventures on this planet. I didn't start it because I am a writer and this is the best way to promote my talents. I am winging it. I'm what I like to call a hack-artist. An emulator. I have never taken any type of instructions or lessons for most of what I do. I am primarily inspired and get my ideas from watching how others do things. Most of my paintings look similar to the artist who I was able to watch complete painting after painting. I emulate that process, with a few of my own ideas thrown in the mix. The same goes for how I play music, design my website, write my updates, or draw the drawings that I do.
I'm trying my best to shed these mindsets and just go for it. I am feeling more creative than ever. I have more ideas for content here on this website. I have half-done art projects and new ones running through my mind constantly that I want to see through... I want to start a podcast, I want to hike 1000 more miles, there are a lot of WANTS for this coming new year.
So keep coming around and hopefully this hack-artist of a website will have more frequent updates, hike and trail re-caps, and possibly another hikertrash type podcast for ya'll to listen to...
kristoOUT
